The Other Mother

The Other Mother

Paint and PetalsTo the mother whose arms will be empty. To the one who will wake up with a heartache. To the mom who will wish she had a scribbled on card and a kid with bedhead to wake her up. To the mother who wonders if she’ll ever hold a baby. You aren’t alone, and you aren’t forgotten. Mother’s Day may seem like a painful reminder, and you might feel left out and isolated. But you aren’t.

The thing I found when I went through my losses, my painful Mother’s Day, is that far more women than you would think know exactly what you’re feeling. Believe me when I say you are not alone. If your miscarriage or infertility happened before you had any children to hold, this day may be especially hard because no one will say Happy Mother’s Day to you. But I will say it–Happy Mother’s Day, sweet momma. You may not have a baby in your arms, but you are a mom. And even though hope may seem gossamer-thin, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I know it’s hard and painful and your broken heart just wants to give up.

Sunday, I’ll walk outside to my hydrangea and I’ll remember that Mother’s Day, the one I didn’t want to happen. The one where I cried all day and just tried to stay busy with work and church stuff. The one where I thought no one would say Happy Mother’s Day, but then Matt gently handed me a hydrangea plant in memory of our baby and said the words to me I so longed to hear. Happy Mother’s Day. I didn’t have a baby in my arms yet. I was pregnant with our second child but didn’t know it at the time. Later in the summer, that baby would go straight to Heaven too. My arms were painfully empty that Mother’s Day, but in my heart I was already a momma. A momma waiting on her child. When I walk outside to my hydrangea this weekend, I’ll pray for the waiting mommas. If you’re on my list, I’ll pray for you specifically and for your child just like I do every day. If you aren’t on my list and want someone to pray for you by name, I’d be honored. Just leave your information below.

Hold on, sweet momma. You aren’t alone, and you aren’t forgotten.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted… Psalm 34:18

A Letter to Sutton

A Letter to Sutton

Dear Sutton,

Today you took your first breath, and you met you first hero. Of course, you already know her because she has carried you for nine months–your mom. I have known your mom for two decades, but to know her now is to know a hero. A warrior. Sutton, most moms would have given up before now. Having been through a fraction of the pain and loss your mom has, they would have surrendered to the fear. But not your mom. She’s a hero. A warrior.

She continues to put her heart out there, a heart that has been gingerly pieced back together, pieces that are held together with a special brand of Scotch tape. She is a wounded warrior, but I think those are the bravest of all. For they know not to take victory for granted. They have seen the other side but choose to fight another day anyway. She is a hero, and now that you’ve looked into her eyes I know you’ve seen it too. Sutton, you are a miracle, but you’re a miracle in the arms of a hero. A woman who would not give up believing, praying and begging the Lord to give her a child to hold. He has heard her cry, and as He was through every loss and every dark day, He is faithful.

Sutton, you and your big sister are so blessed. For every day you get to do life with a warrior. She isn’t perfect. No mommy is. But she is brave. The bravest kind of mom I know. And if you watch her she will show you how to be a warrior. How to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. How to believe and hope when your heart is smashed. How to hold on to the Faithful One during the darkest of days. How to be brave.

If you’re holding on today to a desperate prayer, don’t give up. You aren’t alone. And God is always faithful. In the dark days where hope seems far away and on days like today–when a million prayers are answered in the single sound of a baby’s first cry. Happy birthday, Sutton. I pray you’ll be a brave warrior who dares to believe that with God nothing is impossible. Just like your mom.