To my precious E,
Late one night a few weeks ago, I wrote a letter to you. It was late here, early morning where you are. I told you how I love sunrises and a new day. I also told you I was dreaming about your room, an Ethiopian blanket I wanted to wrap you in, a piece of artwork chosen for the room you will share with your big sister Georgia.
Yesterday, I got an email that my favorite company FashionABLE was having a warehouse sale–a limited number of items up to 70% off for four hours only. I love a sale, E. It’s the reason I no longer go into Target on a regular basis. Because the red tags on the end cap items get me every single time. But I just had to look at this sale. Maybe they would have the blanket I imagined you snuggled in for sale. I pulled up the link and scrolled down until I saw a flash of yellow. There it was–the blanket–the only blanket and the only color included in the sale. They call it lemon, but I call it sunshine. It reminds me of the first light of day, when yellow streaks spike the cotton-candy clouds.
Later yesterday afternoon, I was going through my email and remembered a message our family coordinator sent last week. I had glanced at it during our weekend trip but hadn’t really thought much about it. In the email, our coordinator shared the name of the orphanage where you are now and the orphanage you had originally gone to. I’m a big name person, so I looked up what the names mean. Sweet girl, the one you were first taken to means “dawn.” The first light of morning. The beginning. The rise.
I remembered a necklace in the FashionABLE sale–a tiny gold circle with a sunrise. I hurried to get it before the sale ended. (And informed your daddy later that night I had found my birthday gift a couple months early!) I’ll wear it all the time as a stone (boulder!) to remember God is faithful in the big things, and He’s faithful in the little things.
I think God lavishes gifts on us like this every single day. It’s just whether I have the eyes to see God’s Hand at work. I know for certain I get this gift every morning with the sunrise. Last night I looked up what time the sun would rise this morning, and I set my alarm for ten minutes prior. This morning, I walked outside and watched the sun come up and prayed this verse . . .
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His Word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning. Psalm 130:6, ESV
Sweet girl, I haven’t even held you yet, and still you’ve already taught me so much. It is in our journey to you, a journey that has been hard and painful, that God has shown me the wonder of His Word. I learned to cling to His Word during our losses, but I have learned the new mercies of His Word during our journey to you.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” Lamentations 3:22-24, ESV
I know your journey to us has also been a hard and painful one, but His steadfast love has never left you–not for one moment. We will walk through the days and months and years of healing to come knowing the Lord is our portion and our hope is in Him.
I’m believing that it won’t be long before I’m wrapping you in that sunshine blanket and taking you outside to watch with me the sun break open the sky and telling you story after story of God’s faithfulness to our family. And I hope one day to place a thin chain with a tiny gold circle bearing the imprint of a sunrise around your neck and remind you that from the very beginning God was writing your story. Because your story is His Story. And His Story is Love.