Someone will open a macaroni necklace and gets warm hugs from bed-headed wee ones. Someone will get an open mouth kiss complete with half-chewed Cheerios. Someone will be awakened in the middle of the night with a newborn needing to eat. Someone will put a hand on her swollen belly dreaming. Someone will get a call from a grown child full of sweet words like, “Mom, you were right.”
But someone else will hold an ultrasound from a deafening silent heartbeat. Someone else will take another pregnancy test and see another single line. Someone will wonder what her child is doing that day, the child she lovingly placed in another mom’s arms. Someone will wonder if she’ll ever feel whole after the pain of an abortion. Someone will visit a grave site, and someone will wait beside a silent phone.
On this day that for many of us is bittersweet, we find ourselves feeling the full weight of emotions. Bitter for the burden we gladly shoulder for those feeling hopeless. Sweet for the promise of faithfulness and for the hope of a Good Father.
This thing called motherhood in all its complexity–the desire, the wait, the labor, the sacrifice–is bittersweet. Hard and beautiful. Heart breaking and heart healing.
If you find yourself in a season of heartbreak regarding motherhood, know that you aren’t alone. I know it’s a popular thing these days to cut down other moms and bash each other. But, thankfully, I know a tribe of moms doing it differently. And I bet you have some of this tribe around you too. These moms are the kind with bruised knees and tear-stained pages. On those days when you feel hopeless, desperate, bitter, they will beckon you to hop on, to ride their faith until you feel stronger. They too have felt hopeless, desperate, and bitter, but someone else carried them, and now they will carry you. To sweet. To faithful. To hope. To and through motherhood in all its ups and downs.
You aren’t forgotten. You are embraced, covered, and loved. We will carry you to the feet of Jesus, we will wait with you knee deep in prayer, and we will sing the sweet song of celebration when God shows His faithfulness. When He heals the broken heart. When He makes the bitter sweet.
We will do this over and over for each other. You will carry me. I will carry you. Over and over to the One who heals and restores, who keeps His promises, who proves His faithfulness day after day. And one day we will look back and realize carrying is the work of motherhood. Carrying broken, needy, desperate souls to the feet of Jesus. Our tribe of sisters, our children and families, strangers we see with eyes of love, and our own weary souls. And together we will sing that sweet song, and no one–not even the enemy himself–will be able to keep us silent.
You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever. Psalm 30:11-12
*story behind the photo