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Why I Don’t Need an Alarm Clock

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Processed with VSCOcam with t1 presetIt was 4:45 am. The crescent moon still beaming and the sky inky black. I don’t know if it’s the lingering effects of the time change or the anticipation of the new baby, but Charlotte has been waking up hours before the sun for the last couple weeks.

I remember Lydia doing this too, and I remember fighting it so hard and getting so mad at her because couldn’t she understand that I was exhausted and I was about to have a newborn so my sleep was precious? I’m a little wiser this time. I know fighting it is about as futile as fighting the waves that batter the shore.  So, instead I hold her in the dark. I can hear her sucking her thumb with her left hand, and I can feel her holding my hand with her right. Eventually, she snuggles in my ear and says, “I hungry, Momma.” And we leave the warmth of our little blanket nest and head to the kitchen. She finds a granola bar, and I start making hot cocoa. We turn on Pandora to the Mariah Carey Christmas station, and the two of us begin to dance.

Yes, I am tired. Yes, it’s early. Yes, I can count on one hand the number of hours I’ve slept. But this is the only time my little firecracker is still. This is our time–a few stolen moments that I’ll never get back. I love what Lisa-Jo Baker said in Surprised by Motherhood, “That’s where the gospel lives–in the messy chaos of opening up our lives to others.” Carry on, tired mamas. Carry on.

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6 Comments Join the Conversation

  1. Those are the only moments my little firecracker is still too. Your learned wisdom with L helped me when my own time came with Hampton. Thankful for your vulnerability in life. Carrying on…….xo

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  2. I just found your blog and love this post! It is amazing what we can do as mothers with our children as our motivators. 🙂 And I love that quote too, there really is something special about opening up and being real. I look forward to following and getting to know you better 🙂

    Reply

  3. Elissa- thinking of you and wishing you a smooth and healthy delivery! Can’t wait to find out gender! Enjoy that moment! !!

    Reply

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