Yesterday afternoon while the girls and I were on a walk I spotted the first tiny buds peeking out on a branch. I’m sure we have a few more cold days, but I can feel it. Spring is inching her blossom-gilt self closer and closer. This week we’ve been soaking up sunshine at the park, around the block and at Sonic where the girls and I gleefully split an M&M Blast. I can feel myself thawing–literally, certainly, but much deeper than that. I’m learning to rest–slowly, stubbornly, surely.
A few days ago, my mentor and I were talking. Somewhere in our conversation she shared a profound question, and I can already feel it reshaping me.
“What’s your motive?”
In my flesh, I am a people-pleaser, a performer, a controller, so I love to say yes. Asking myself, “What’s your motive?” immediately reveals my why. Am I trying to please someone? Am I trying to prove myself? Am I trying to control? If so, I’m saying yes for the wrong motive. And all those yeses with the wrong motive take their toll. They leave me running and spinning and chasing and doing. But all that labor isn’t about God and His glory. It’s about me and my performing.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest,” Jesus tells us in Matthew. Rest looks very unproductive, but it is doing the hardest work of all–surrendering. Come to Me. Surrender your agenda, your reputation, your facade, your craving for control. Come, be still. Come, rest.
The world says, “Perform.” Jesus says, “Rest.” ~ Tim Keller