I mentioned a few weeks back that I have the opportunity to co-host the Andy Savage Show every Wednesday at 3 PM. It’s been a fun learning experience, and I’ve only made about a billion mistakes. (But that’s how you learn, right?!) Every week on the show, Andy talks about marriage, parenting and family life, and I love being a part of the show because I share his passion in ministry for these areas. Matt and I have learned a ton from Andy and his wife, Amanda, and we love getting to help with a marriage course they lead called Making Marriage Make Sense.
Yesterday, on the show, we were talking about Andy’s new series Love Song: Song of Solomon. One of the questions we got was about physical beauty, “In a world obsessed with physical beauty, is physical attraction important in romance?” Andy went on to answer that yes, physical attraction does matter, but character ultimately trumps physical attraction. Character is what transcends the highs and lows of physical beauty. For women, this brings into question how much time we spend plucking and moisturizing versus building into our character attributes like humility and submission.
But while we were talking about this topic, it also got me thinking about how much women struggle with insecurities about appearance. No matter how thin, wrinkle-free, perfectly highlighted, frizz-free, or fashionable we are, we still battle feeling unattractive sometimes (or maybe all the time.) And I wonder if sometimes these insecurities follow us into the bedroom. We feel unattractive so we avoid our husbands thinking surely he must see all my flaws too. But perhaps the most attractive quality we can offer our husbands is our interest. Our interest in what’s going on at the office, on the basketball court and even in the bedroom. On any given day, we have a thousand reasons not to feel like it, and a big reason (at least for this woman) is my own insecurity.
I’ll never forget a couple weeks after Lydia was born, I was wearing my infamous scrubs, thankful for the cinch-tie waste, with milk stains on one shoulder and spit up on the other. My hair looked like I had stuck my hand in a socket and I wouldn’t have been able to locate my makeup to save my life. Saying I felt ugly was such an understatement. Matt came into the room, looked at me and said, “You are so beautiful.” I looked up with a smirk on my face thinking, “How dare he make that kind of joke right now?!?” But when I looked at his eyes, I knew he was being serious.
What if we laid down our insecurities for just a little while? What if we believed our husbands when they tell us we’re beautiful? And what if we realized no matter how many pounds we think we need to lose or how many laugh lines have crept onto our face that we are at our most attractive when we are women of strong character who show a little interest in our husbands?