For several days I was in a funk. I have absolutely no clue why. I’m not even sure anything was actually “wrong.” I was just not myself… on edge, snappy, extremely selfish and ungrateful… just altogether ugly. I remembered a blog a few weeks back by Jen Hatmaker and I reread it. Jen recommends making a list of all the practices that make you feel healthy and looking to see if any of those are missing. Off the top of my head, my list would look something like this… date nights, girls nights, good books, bubble baths, running, time with my mentor, time with God. So, Saturday I made my list and sure enough every one of those was lacking except the books and running. And notably, the ones missing were almost all relational. I am, at my core, a girl who thrives on relationships, and when I feel disconnected I start to shut down.
Just looking at that list helped me start to recover. And last night, I got a great gift, an unexpected treat… thirty minutes with my best friend, Liz. We both got to serve at the Single Moms Spa Night at HP, but we were in different areas. After it was over everyone started cleaning up. I went to go find her because I’ll clean all day long if I can do it with people I love. We didn’t talk about anything earth-shattering or solve any huge problems but those few minutes rolling chairs and moving lights filled my tank. I know I can be honest with Liz, ugly honest, and she’ll still love me. She’s shown me that time and time again. The thing I realized today is that over the past couple weeks she and I have talked or texted almost every day, and while I love those things (if ever I need a good laugh I just go back and reread our text conversations… which reminds me… I need to make her promise me she’ll burn my phone if I should die an early death… the nursing stories alone would remove any shred of modesty 🙂 I’d been desperately missing face time with my best friend. Laughter loses a little something when it goes through the phone, a little grit, a little sheen, a little texture. I think it’s time to call the girls and get around the same table. It’s time to laugh and share and let our guards down. It’s time to be ugly honest and know that the people across the basket of chips love you anyway. Pass the guacamole and queso.