Another cake in the candle. Another spin around the sun. I’ve been looking forward to this birthday for years. I was still a teenager sitting beside my cute boyfriend when I quickly did the math… if we went on our first date right before my 17th birthday that meant when I turned 34 I would have spent half my life with him. And now here we are, and it’s a thousand times sweeter than I could have ever imagined. I find it immensely rewarding to grow old with someone–to have known each other when gray hairs and wrinkles weren’t even on our radar, to have started our relationship with pagers (if Matt got a page that said 14389 he knew it was me) and my Nokia cell phone with the customizable cover and now have children who stare at us blankly when they see a commercial in the middle of the football game (Mom, what is that and why is it coming on in the middle of our show?), to have grown up beside each other and with each other and towards each other. It’s a gift, and this is a special birthday for me because of it. Thank you, Matthew Hudson Roberts, for spending half my life with me.
A few highlights from this year… Running outside again. Wearing a watch. Learning French (just the beginning but it’s something). Growing heaps and heaps of zinnias. Mine and Matt’s epic victory dance when Bama won the national championship. Eve singing Amazing Grace. Teaching the Pre-K class at our CC community. God-chosen therapists for Eve. Seeing the little girls play for hours in the morning while the rest of us do school. Sticking to our budget. Casablanca tea, especially with dear friends. Bluebirds in our box. Exploring Seattle with Matt. Tulips abundant in the front yard. A king bed. Finding out my sister is going to be a mom. Watching Lottie ride her bike without training wheels. Hydrangeas that survive a late frost. A new church family. Our Missional Community. The rainbow arcing through the sky as we drove away from my uncle’s funeral. Watching the grass spots fill in after we accidentally used weed and grass killer. Getting book recommendations from Lydia (yes, she was right, and Harry Potter is as wonderful as she said it was.) Text conversations with my brother. Clearance plants from Lowe’s. Perfect ripe peaches. Cold watermelon. Pigtail braids in Peach’s hair. The six of us going round and round the lazy river.
But the biggest and best thing from this year is we became a family of six. All the official stuff was the previous year, but it was sometime this summer when I was spying on the girls playing together that it hit me. We are a family. We don’t walk on eggshells anymore. Eve knows we aren’t going anywhere. We do all the normal things, and it wasn’t until this adoption journey that I realized what a gift the normal things are. This isn’t to say trauma doesn’t still show up. It does. And it will. In all of us. But it’s like deep in our core we know–this is family. This is us. And that’s a gift my 17-year-old self could never have imagined.